Shook.

Where do we go from here…

How do we rebuild? Recollect? Remember?

As if living through a pandemic wasn't enough, our community was hit and hit hard with catastrophe these last 48 hours and we know it will continue on, for nothing is singular and all affects all, long after I write these words and sit with this reality.

Here we are in the aftermath - Centered in the destruction of a 100 year pandemic and a 500 year flood - here we are - here we land - and here it is we stand - together - if even still six feet apart.

I am shook.

And I trust I am not alone in my shaking.

This is all too much.

The overwhelm.

The uncertainty.

The destruction.

I tried to share space yesterday with the intention of being strong and stable for our community as my mind filled with tension and the story of rising to the occasion for each of you, to be there for our community in this moment of such travesty and loss, only to find all I could do was cry…

Again again,

I trust those tears.

I trust every tear that falls.

And every part of me that quakes.

Because it reminds me of how much love is here.

How much great and powerful and resilient love is here.

The depth and magnitude of true all encompassing radical warrior love, IS HERE.

It lives on and through.

Always has and always will.

And so will we.

Which causes the mourning… the grief… the trembles… the sadness… the shakes….

All needed and necessary to process and endure this course we are on…

All I know to do right now is breathe. And breathe deep.

And trust that one day we may be a little closer to our resolution and why.

So, today, instead of sharing my voice,

I am taking myself back to my seat and allowing these words to flow through my fingertips.

I write.

And I write from my heart space to yours.

This destruction is unlike anything we have ever seen before.

Yet, I know and I trust if anyone is able to bear witness and hold it all, it is us.

This community is one of resilience.

Radical resilience fused with radical compassion and radical generosity.

I have witnessed it, received it, and healed from this and more - the attributes, the virtues, the brilliance of being among and a part of the Midland, MI community - and for this and more I am thankful, I am proud, I am here.

Yogis in action even if you never thought to label yourself the Yogi.

You are.

We are.

And it was your heroic yogic efforts and choice to hold me and accept me in the middle of all my destruction that allowed us to take on this 5+ year journey together - cultivating these relationships and creating spaces of sanctuary and softness and strength - inward as well as out - it was you who opened your arms and minds and hearts to me even in all of my brokenness that led me to sitting on this mat, feeling this warm breeze on my skin, and trusting the possibilities that are possible if we are patient with this oh-so-uncomfortable-process of processing our reality. Of standing in the mud. Being in the dark. Feeling all that breaks.

I am all too familiar with the feeling I am sitting with today.

The anxiety - the waiting for what's next - the pause between catastrophe and creation.

I am all too familiar with losing it all -

And I am all too familiar with the bittersweet sting of truth:

Life continues on.

And so do we.

When I found my way through Alignment 8’s doors I had no capacity to dream this living dream we have created and are still living in - even if at this moment it doesn't feel so dream like - it is. It is.

You all gave me the resources needed to pick up my broken pieces… to build something out of the remnants - and to reach out and bring in my worthiness and wholeness.

You all gave me love - the greatest resource we can all tap into - and that love is still pouring in so many infinite directions and dimensions today.

Your love and your light allowed me to find my way home. And I can only hope to serve and pour that right on back to each of you.

You reminded me I am a Warrior and in its organic mutuality - reminded yourself you are one too.

As I sit here today I can't even pinpoint where that label began, but it did.

We are Warriors.

Always have been.

And always will be.

We are warriors and I think it is important to remember what it means when we take that title.

Warriors refrain. They pause. They feel. They process the unreal so they can in turn and in their own time take what destroys and transform it into what creates and gives goodness.

The Warrior Soul is one of great heartbreak, great agony, great overwhelm. And what makes the Warrior the Warrior is that even with all the toxicity this world can pour outward and into us, we still choose and choose freely to love… to serve…. To see the goodness… and to be the goodness…

The Warrior is a healer. One who knows we can be both the healer and the healing. We can be both the broken and the whole. We can be the space and share the space of unsettling uncertainty and still center into the uninterrupted calm that is there for us to find.

The Warrior holds the complexities, the conundrums, the catastrophes with open palms and open hearts.

We know the silt will settle.

We know the debris will land.

We know at some point all that will be left to hold is the goodness this life can be.

We just may not be there, yet.

And that is OK.

It was by giving myself the space to digest the destruction of my life that I could begin to find my feet back on this earth in a way I had never felt or imagined before.

It was by screaming and singing out the storms raging deep within my bones, cells, psyche, and soul that I created space to receive the goodness that this community lives and aligns with breath in and breath out.

It was by moving my body in ways that felt joyful and gentle that I began to feel the sweet release of the pain I held on to for as long as I needed to.

My time.

My process.

My healing.

All on Divine time.

All with Divine intervention.

And that will be your way through too - if you so allow.

As much as these next words may sting,

Know again they come from my heart and the unstruck center of truth:

Destruction can lead us to where it is we are meant to be and to where it is we are needed to go.

And All for the Highest of good.

When we break we get to choose how we put the peace and pieces back together.

but first, we have to be able to see and feel and hold the damage.

I feel drawn to share the quote:

“Not all who wander are lost”

Seems fitting for this moment we are in.

Right now we wander.

Knowing we are not lost.

We wait.

We welcome in the uncertainty without any urgency of needing to know where it will lead.

Tippy toe by tippy toe.

We all continue to move or refrain at the speed of our own trust.

May we Hold it all and trust one day - no matter how far from now it may be - it will not feel as heavy, hard, or hopeless.

This is how we heal.

We let the ground shake and we let our certainties be shook.

With patience.

With purpose.

We wait and welcome in what may or may not be next.

Wander, Warrior, wander.

Trust that you will know your way.

and that we will always know our way to one another.

Light, love, and so much peace,

keri

****as we all continue to process our reality it is my ultimate intention to continue to write and share and be in the space of uncertainty with all of you - no warrior left behind. Please keep me accountable, I feel so raw and vulnerable behind my words - they are my truth - my heart my soul my elixir - keep me accountable because we know where there is accountability there is great love - let me know how I can serve - how I can support - how I can be in this space of both shit and sanctuary with you - together***