Peace and Unconditional Love.

Peace and Unconditional Love.

A message I received after a reiki healing.

A gift.

From a gift.

From a gift.

And the more I keep thinking about it...

I am starting to see my life as more of a gift.

But that may be a different story...

For a different day...

I shake my head as I write this…

This life of mine continues to reveal so much down and below the surface -

Beyond what my eyes are able to see.

And at the core of all the layers -

All the depth -

All the chaos that I have both voluntarily and involuntarily created -

There is simplicity.

Peace.

And Unconditional Love.

I am starting to really feel that in my soul. And in my body.

Which freaks the crap out of me if I am completely honest…

Coming from trauma and confusion - this feeling of joy and ease has been very foreign to me - especially when felt for long periods of time!

They really should be a warning message on the label (((- I think I’m funny..)))

I have even found myself saying to friends and mentors:

I FEEL GOOD - what the hell is this?!?

I feel at peace - and I am freaking out!!

The simplicity at my core reminds me:

This is the sweet harvest.

Cultivated from perseverance.

Moving through life - even when it felt like I was standing still - through heart, forgiveness, and following my inner guide

This life of mine has not always been what it is in this moment of now,

Thursday, January 17th at 5:35pm.

In this now I would say I absolutely BLESSED - like TOO BLESSED to be stressed!

I have abundance, peace, joy, excitement, opportunity, the stars are aligning for my soul.

Duality is a lifelong friend of mine. She has given me the experiences needed to know the latter from the former - the ups from the downs - the full spectrum experience that is defined as my life. A tremendous serving of bitter, but now I have begun to taste the sweet.

I have traveled the spectrum of conditional love to unconditional,

Uncertainty and pain to peace, ease, and joy.

And all within the parenthesis of 31 - almost 32 but who’s counting - terrifyingly slow and unfairly fast years.

I find that I now measure time from “before” and “after” July 4th, 2013 - the day that my entire normality and identity shifted, like tectonic plates physically, mentally, emotionally…

(the blessing here being that I had a foundation - dysfunctional - but rooted in love)

Before that moment, life wasn't always peaceful and unconditionally loving.

I come from a home of radical and joyful love with a hint of dysfunction…

My dad was an alcoholic and my mom joked she could and would be if she drank.

My dad lost his job with the crash in the early 2000’s… he was a talented and skilled carpenter and did beautiful work - so thankfully he found jobs here and there, but that really took a toll on his already heavy soul for many reasons. That wave of darkness stretched out to my mom who operated through her heart - but her mind, body and soul took a toll from the constant disappointments, disease, and dysfunction.

Everything truly does affect everything…

There are many shadows in both my parents lives and I don't think today is the day to bring them to light - but now knowing so many of their shames I just admire them both more and more and more and more.

seeing my parents know as human beings in a totally different light I am in constant AWE and amazement to what they both gave me. I was never abused. I was doted on. Everything I needed AND WANTED I received. I was loved. Adored. Their princess and baby. They gave me everything I Would need to move forward in this life. And with all that beauty and love - there was also extreme dysfunction.

They are and always will be the roots that not only gave me - but taught me - what it is to have unconditional love. It’s always bitter to think of how their stories ended, but then I remember, they get to live on through me.

And I know they are with me.

Because there’s no way I Would be where and who I am today,

Without those 2 working divine wonders in the background.

I just looked down at the clock in the bottom of the computer corner:

5:55 smh...lol

This is another gift from them - they really are pretty amazing!

When the plates under my feet shifted -

And my entire world came crashing down and all around -

It was just the beginning of a new and powerful transformation in my life.

For so long I thought it was the end for me - or at least I wanted it to be at time - the tomb.

But now I am starting to find peace with the idea that maybe it was a painful rebirth - the womb.

For the first time - if ever, I am beginning to feel peace and unconditional love for myself. And fueled by the idea that we all can have that experience for ourselves. If I can come back from the gravity of destruction, disconnect, and disease - well I truly believe we all can!

I still have moments of incredible sadness.

I miss my parents and so much of what was “before”...

But this “after” I am creating with the divine help of them -

Has been so incredibly freeing for me.

I am starting to see myself and each other in an entirely new light:

With PEACE and Unconditional LOVE.

It’s a daily practice.

Rooted in Love.

Sustained in Love.

Nourished through persistence, purpose, and passion.

Today and forward -

I am going to practice receiving this gift of unconditional love and peace.

Knowing it’s with me at all times as I continue to flow with this life -

Sustained in love.

Rooted in peace.

The worst behind me.

I am thankful for the gift of reiki and the gift of being open to more than my mind could ever imagine. It has been in that space of being lost and upside down,

That I finally found my way.

And I can only hope to share that gift of SELF with each of you.

Light and so much Love,

Keri