a December to remember

Today marks the first entry of a 31 day intention of tearing down walls of illusion and bearing my bones, mind, heart, and soul as I share into my suffering and open myself up to intimacy with you. Intimacy meaning in - to - me - I/you - see. My hope: this builds connection. Connection to each other in our suffering and connecting to our own self in our suffering.

Connection to all of humanity in humanity’s suffering.

It is no accident that my suffering has led me to the most beautiful work I didn't even know I could do. I teach, I lead, I manage, I have space, I go into spaces and share the magick of movement, meditation, embodied healing practices, and Source Divine! I am blessed! And again, no accident - it has taken hard work of navigating loss, trauma, and suffering through the heart and through my own intuition, challenging my own hypocrisies, and trusting Diving everything, that somehow, someway, I have ended up here. And I want to use this moment in time and the moments in my life to bring truth into this world and remove illusions that have kept us separate in our suffering for so long.

That’s what trauma/suffering/fear/ego love to do.

Keep us quiet. And keep us separated.

I intend to push back gently with love.

And to do that,

I have to get a little more vulnerable and share a little more of my depth.

Which is the intention behind the next 31 days.

That, and the common threads I find in the work I do.

It doesn't matter the setting I am in (and know I am in many different environments) what I have found is the disconnection is real - I witness and participate in disconnect from one’s own self in mind, body, and soul - and we are disconnected from each other - focused on comparing, contrasting, and judging what we do not understand. I also find assumption. We assume we know someone based on what we see. We assume we know ourselves based on how we behave, identify, and move through life, or what someone else has told us about ourselves. We assume we are not worthy to the ultimate truth of worth to every degree.

We all have forgotten it is our Soul’s birthright to blossom and that there is enough for all.

This is due to many reasons including dominant culture, society, how we identify, bias and beliefs, traumas, and so much more - this is not a singular issue and there are no singular solutions.

I have found many tools along my path that have been crucial to my healing and unveiling of truth.

I am ready to share my struggles as I walk this walk and learn, unlearn, and relearn using these precious tools that have been gifted along the way.

On this Warrior’s path I will be sharing how I check in with my own hypocrisies, confront my own demons, challenge my own doubts - and breathe into the courage it takes to step into the discomfort and stick with the discomfort that is required to heal and evolve.

This path is my compass. The 8 limbs of yoga. I combine this practice and path with the practice of the 5 agreements, the science of positive psychology, the joy of movement, nutrition, and the deep connection to spirit and our Divine creator as my essential tools to participate in my life with purpose and to attain balance within my life. It helps me to discern - not judge - my actions my thoughts, my response, my inactions, my silence, my words, yada, yada, yada… it is all I need and it is always with me.

And I only have found that through my suffering.

And through facing my traumas.

And wanting to heal.

Which is the WHY behind this next 31 day journey - which keep me accountable my friends - discipline is required to be a free spirit - and that is what this is alllllll about, being free and knowing in my freedom lies your own, for there is no separation, and the 8 limbed path is the path to freedom, justice, liberation, and peace for all - and we can attain this!

By slowing down.

Keeping it simple.

Back to the basics.

Breathe.

Be.

(repeat as often as necessary)

Which is currently my situation.

The struggle: Achieving a balance between what I need/want/desire/hope to do for the studio, our mission, and all those that depend upon me and what I need/want/desire/hope to do for the person behind it all: me including my mental health, emotional health, physical health, and so on.

The struggle: Caring for oneself when wanting to care for ALL.

The solution: Self Care evolving into Mutual Care.

Caring for myself as well as you in this moment.

Doing what I gotta do to honor me while simultaneously honoring the same space and agency for you to do what you gotta do for you.

Which has led to me finalllyyyyy practicing what I preach:

And REST.

And it has felt so good!

I am finding the need to truly slow down and allow myself to unwind…

And not that this is some luxury,

But it is genuinely needed so I can sustain what it is I am doing now and cultivate more power, drive, clarity, and creativity to do even BIGGER work in this world - work that leads to the dream that’s waiting down this path: freedom for all.

I am returning to myself. My body. And witnessing the conversations it has with me; it always has had with me - but I am just lately learning to listen. And by learning to listen and having space to listen, I can feel into my wisdom and also lingering wounds.

(exhale)

To intentionally make space for rest is what is fueling my resilience this holiday season.

Between nostalgia and seasonal depression, there have been a few moments of heaviness and low-li-ness (get it) paired with social anxiety and lingering traumas it can be scary to even get out of bed - I get it - I understand - and I hope to share this so you know you are not alone.

Step one:

Awareness.

How do you feel and where do you feel it?

Step two:

Compassion.

This is how miracles happen and energy can shift.

Whatever you are feeling imagine wrapping it up with so much love.

Tension in the mind from people, places, things, memories, etc: love, love, love!

Tension in the body: imagine light and breathe into those spaces with love.

Loss of soul: find and create joy! Music, movement, nature, what fills your cup?

I have found I must be intentional with my healing.

And forgive myself when I fall short.

I have learned I have to say no to things.

And that’s ok.

All is and will be well when we honor the Soul.

I am learning just how important my own care for my own self is.

And I hope you join me in remembering just how worthy each of us is.

So if you are feeling depleted, defeated, deleted… retreat, rest, replete…

Guilt free.

Do what you gotta do!

Honor you!

And trust I will be doing the same.

I look forward to sharing more of my struggles with you and the light that is awaiting at the end of every tunnel - may it connect us and may it heal us - Marianne Williamson said it best:

When it is dark, turn on the light. When you are afraid, turn on the love.

Love and so much light,

keri