Day 16: Personal Freedom

Happiest of Monday’s, Warriors.

It is such a delight to finally get some time to sit down and allow my thoughts and voice come out to life on this page - thank you!

Time is relevant and for me it has been keeping a steady pace of moving forward; letting go and shedding habits and patterns and residuals of traumas experienced long ago. I feel it is no accident the last few days I have sat with my angel cards and the card I continue to receive is New Beginnings. I truly feel it.

One of my intentions this past year has been to really return home to myself. To get to know who it is I am and what it is I stand for. My service. My purpose. My passions. My dreams.

Life doesn't always allow us the space or the time or the encouragement to get to know ourselves - and for me trauma and disappointment and pain and fear and all those ego-licious energies have held me back: from dreams and from mySelf. The destruction within us and around us is more than enough to lose our way.

And in my lost,

We can be found.

I am finding out who I am in a way I never have before.

I am noticing my tendencies.

My habits.

My joys.

My lows.

That which gives me ease.

And that causes tension.

Removing illusion so I can begin to see the root to my deepest scars and scares.

Gentling observing where my mind goes in reaction and where my heart goes in response.

And having the courage to discern mySelf not dissect myself to find what does and does not serve the highest good - the truest of truths - that which is Love and that which is not.

It is not easy doing this work.

Noticing where I am outta whack.

Acknowledging Self-Hypocrisy ~ where do I talk that talk and forget the walk that must lead the way. Coming in in a world that loves to pull us out. And leaving room for grace, forgiveness, and humanness so I can learn about mySelf through myself. It may be a cliche to say, but the things in life worth having usually require a little effort on our part to attain.

I see.

I feel.

I hold space.

I do the work of the practice to freedom and liberation.

I keep myself accountable.

And where there is accountability,

There is great love!

And in doing so I am finding more space where I used to find tension (mental, physical, emotional) and an ability to detach from what used to cause me great suffering and harm:

Especially with My thoughts!

Man oh man I am sure this is nothing new, but in the inertia of life and the roles and responsibilities that we have to participate in both voluntarily and involuntarily, it can get really messy and sometimes people say the darnedest things - myself included!

What gets projected on us or at us can really cause a stir and create an imbalance.

In noticing myself, I found myself spending so much mental capital on mental tension.

I would get myself all wrapped up in what so and so said or so and so didn't say or man oh man what did I do wrong or did I not say that with enough heart..

Yada

Yada

Yada.

Illusion.

Illusion.

illusion.

Where my mind used to create a narrative of worry and doubt I now send love.

I wrap the person, the place, the idea, or conflict, the condition up in love and hand it off to the highest power.

I have been firmly planting my feet to this earth. And with intention and maybe even some conviction, feeling my body - my temple - my house of my Soul and allowing this deep grounding to happen. Literally: coming home to myself!

I allow myself to feel what it is I feel and again I wrap it up and hand it off to my highest power.

Every time it comes back I do it again. I wrap it in love and hand it off.

And what I am finding is the more I Do this the less tension I feel: physically, mentally, emotionally.

There is true power in LOVE.

We just have to learn to use it.

Trauma, ego, fear, all of those lower energies love to keep us feeling stuck in our bodies while simultaneously disconnected from our bodies. We choose to leave this temple because at some point someone caused us pain, took away our power, and diminished our light.

The beautiful news:

We can decide to come back.

We can choose to be here.

And be here with wholeness.

That has been my intention.

My soul of action: be in my body. Notice my feelings and emotions (the language of the body). Notice the tendencies of my mind. Which routes lead to freedom? And which routes lead to disconnect? That is how I have been making my moves even in the stillness.

How do I stay in consciousness in a world that would prefer me to be asleep???

How do I stay loving and kind in a world that is bitter and broken???

Through practice and gentle observation.

Through loving and loving on purpose.

Time and time again.

Love is one of our greatest tools.

It creates where as trauma and ego love to destroy.

In addition to my radical love practices, I wanted to share with you one of the greatest tools that continues to lead me out of the pits and traps and defeat of fear and ego: the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you have yet to notice next time you are in the studio look at the double doors, we have a poster up that shares these 5 (I know I said 4… 2 books equally 5 agreements in total) agreements.

One I have been rooted on these past few days (if not more…) is:

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.

Nothing others do is because of me!!!

What wonderful news!!!!

So freeing as long as I can hold it, accept it, know it, and trust it.

This has been one of the greatest tools I know and own and it is always with me.

I feel my new beginning is rooted deeply in this truth.

My own personal freedom.

And it is beautiful.

In coming home to myself I have noticed the power I do give away. In time, in energy, in generosity, it is just who I am. It feels natural for me to pour my love outward - genuinely my true nature. So this last year has really been a struggle to witness how I exhaust myself in outlets and people and opinions that truly have nothing personal on me.

I have softened into my boundaries which are the equal distance I can love myself while still loving you - similar to mutual care: caring for myself and well as you in this moment.

It is not always well received, but that's OK!

Cuz again:

Nothing others do is because of me!

And what I do isn’t because of them.

This is about me returning to ME.

And in doing so,

Maybe just maybe it’ll be mirrored out so each other can do the same.

To return to our homes.

To return to our power.

To return to a destiny even greater than we can imagine.

All if this has been my root - but I've noticed when the irks and icks come from the outside influence (judgement, aggressiveness, misunderstanding, passive-aggressiveness, etc) that’s when I stumble, that's when I choke on my words, and lose sight of my hopes and vision.

I lose myself based one someone else.

I can't do that anymore. It does not serve and certainly does not sustain.

I choose not to do it anymore.

I choose love.

I choose freedom.

I choose mySELF.

And it feels so good.

So free.

So empowering.

To know and trust and remember:

THIS IS MY LIFE!

And if I can live it through my heart and speak my truth with my soul, well it doesn't matter what gets projected my way… it’s not my stuff, it’s not my pain, it’s not mine to center around.

I exhale.

I inhale.

I cut the cords.

And I continue on.

Love lighting up the way.

And again, what I keep finding is as I change my landscape and narrative within, even if physically the outside world has yet to change, I perceive it so very differently.

Less judgement.

More empathy.

Less pointing of the fingers.

More opening of the hands and heart.

And if I can find this palace of peace within myself during a time in our world that feels so contracted, upside down, backwards, and illusive - well, so can you.

And my hope is - my vision is - my dream is:

As each of us does this inward work of noticing and not accepting that which should not be accepted or defaulting in that which should not be the default (pain, envy, fear, ego!) well maybe just maybe we collectively will paint the picture of what personal freedom can look like, feel like, taste like, and be life - for all of us everywhere.

So, as you let yourself unwind from this day, please take a moment for some personal inventory:

Are you holding on to anything that you can let go of?

Mental tension?

Physical tension?

Emotional tension?

How can you wrap it in love?

Is there anyway you can give yourself some forgiveness?

Some compassion?

And extend that same forgiveness and compassion to anyone or anything that has caused you tension, doubt, disturbance, destruction??

This is how we change.

This is how we heal.

This is how we come home.

Light & Love,

Keri