Divine discomfort.
More than ever I am feeling inspired by my own discomfort.
The language of my body longing for ease.
The sacredness of my soul searching for harmony.
The mirages in my mind reminding me of miracles.
And I’m Allowing…
every little piece,
Every little part
And every edge of intensity
to speak directly to me.
And what I find over and over again:
There’s great work to do.
There's great work to do.
There’s great work to do.
(and even as I type this a bumblebee comes flying across the screen to hover a moment and validate: yes, there is work to be done and may you do it.)
The question becomes:
Will I?
Because it takes effort to stay with uncertainty -
It takes will to stay with dis-ease -
It takes power to push through the sensations of discomfort -
Not allowing it to pull me down or trap me in.
It takes heart.
Soul.
and the pulse of purpose through the pain.
And I know I will.
And I know I can.
Discomfort is not danger.
To be inspired by discomfort means I have to stay with my discomfort.
And right now y'all, the climate is uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable.
And I trust it.
All of my lived experience this far has been preparing me -
To stay with this -
This moment.
This miracle.
This madness.
and here is what my discomfort has to say:
* * * * * * * *
I’m uncomfortable from the number of black and brown bodies being killed, separated, oppressed, unheard, unseen, unknown, and lost with injustice and indignity.
I am uncomfortable with the resistance against the Black Lives Matter Movement.
I am uncomfortable that families are separated and children are abused - due to the color of their skin or where they landed for their first breath. I am uncomfortable from the spiritual bypassing living out loud in the spiritual community - this belief of leaving it in God’s hands when we know the power rests in our own hands, hearts and heads. I am uncomfortable from the fear in my mind telling me I cannot speak my truth of discomfort for it does not match the misalignment of the world or ideals of my community. I smile and laugh. This discomfort is my livelihood. Trust it. Keep going…
I am uncomfortable knowing my ancestors were oppressed. Made extinct. I am uncomfortable that my parents weren't able to heal. Were Not able to navigate through their own pain.
I am uncomfortable with seeing those with power intentionally harming through their words, actions and deeds. I am uncomfortable with seeing those who intentionally harm having support and resources and backing of the harm. I am uncomfortable from a pandemic taking more and more lives with no space to grieve or come together in the loss. I am uncomfortable that some don't believe it to be true and choose to bypass their own discomfort for anothers - aka please wear a mask - the energy we put into resistaning something could be funnelled into more healing and repair and understanding. I am uncomfortable that we are held by an illusion of being held - the systems and infrastructure were not created for me - and I have lost my parents through these cracks and confines. I am uncomfortable that it is such a challenge for us to heal.
I’m uncomfortable by my own identity or even the lack in which I can name who it is I am and where it is I come from and where it is I belong. I am uncomfortable with my guilt. I am uncomfortable with my blame. I am uncomfortable with my shame. I am uncomfortable that I have bypassed my own comfort to make soooooo many others comfortable.
* * * * * * * *
I am uncomfortable.
And find comfort in it.
It reminds me I still have great work to do.
So I must stay inspired.
So thank you discomfort - thank you.
You are here to teach me and transform me through the change and the challenge and the chaffing of being alive right now. In this world. In this country. At this moment and time.
Every little ache.
Every little sensation
Of tension,
Suffocation,
All The triggers of Truth.
It’s all there to guide me through.
And I thank it.
Discomfort is DIVINE.
This world - ego default - opposite of Divinity - wants us to feel stuck and suppressed and separate - by not teaching us how to BE with it ALL - even if we don’t like it - especially if we do not like it - by feeling and seeing and knowing what harm can do on the interpersonal level and layer, we can begin to transcend our wounds into ways in which we heal, we repair and we refrain on through - as individual beings & as the collective - we heal & we heal together - - - even in our Covid-separation.
And there’s a lot that needs repairing and renovation right now - and the beautiful thing is we can each do our part and it begins right where we land.
We need each other.
We need accountability.
We get to be the ones who repair and refrain.
We get to be the ones who shine light on the guilt and cut cords to the blame.
We get to know who it is we are.
And in turn, who it is we are to each other.
So please, sit with your discomfort.
Greet it. Welcome it in.
What does it have to say?
And please,
Do not stop changing.
Do not stop allowing the lessons to come your way.
No matter how hard they seem to be.
You can do it - your soul and being is strong.
DIVINE DISCOMFORT.
And may we keep dreaming of a world where we are constantly held through the challenges of change and the discomfort of processing the process of being alive. Learning. Making meaning of the madness. And having the strength to weave your truth into the world - one healing connection at a time.
This is the work I have been doing and am committed to keep doing.
I am repairing myself -
All the ways in which I have allowed separation
and accepted illusion in place of truth -
Fear instead of love -
Friction over flow -
I am repairing the damage done by listening to my discomfort.
And I have found the remedies to be:
Forgiveness
Acceptance
Constant change
Constant compassion
They lead to understanding.
They lead to contentment.
They lead to courage.
They lead to change.
May we love justice through us.
May we love liberation through us.
Start small.
Remember you're Sacred.
And Be Sweet.
We need you. and I love you.
( Now is the time where you need you & your own Divine love. )
Do the work brave warrior - we need you and all of your discomfort,
keri
