Day 6: a Spark

Before I close my eyes tonight I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for being apart of the magick and miracle that is this moment.

Tonight we hosted a packed house for Restorative Yoga & Reiki and I am still clasping my heart in awe and joy.

It is such an honor, blessing, and privilege to share space and to have the space fused with two practices that have been intrinsic to my healing.

I am in awe. And so very grateful.

I couldn't go to bed without saying it:

Thank you.

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(((the rest is what I wrote before Reiki Restorative tonight. I had hoped to post earlier but life - love you all so much: thank you!!))))

Day 6: a Spark

Sitting down for a moment to collect my thoughts as I gear up for our Restorative Reiki practice coming up tonight. To look back and know that it was the gift of reiki that led me on this conquest of finding alignment within my life and that I have the honor and privilege of sharing this practice with each of you, it's pretty phenomenal and living proof of what can happen as we choose to move through our lives with our heart - even in all of its brokenness.

It was around this time about 6-ish years ago that I had my first reiki healing.

Rose Wallace, my soul auntie, I will always bow to you.

I had no idea what reiki was, I just knew I needed something in my own devastation and grief.

The familiar was no longer working, so I was very open to unfamiliar ways of finding ease through the storm of loss. My friend at the time had a friend whose sister had no idea of my story, but knew I needed deep help. That was the first spark in the path of living in alignment.

The truth that even in my un-knowing-ness, the Universe found me and was making its presence known through the people in my life at that time. She told me her friend's sister had spiritual gifts and wanted to share her gifts with me - and at that time this wound was so new that to even know someone was out there who wanted to hold space for was enough to say hell yes lets go!

I had no clue what I was going towards.

I just knew I was open.

And that's when I met Rose.

Instantly I felt a warmth and familiarity I can only describe as soul recognition.

I felt safe.

I felt held.

I felt seen.

I even felt heard in my silence.

My first reiki session is a gift I will always cherish.

I laid there and just allowed myself to feel the breath rise and fall.

I allowed my thoughts to come and go.

And I spoke to my heart and asked that please, please, please, let me my mom and dad know I love them and need them and hope to hear from them…

Rose had no idea of my story.

Or my loss.

She could just feel profound sadness.

As I laid there and let her do her work - her magick - her dharma - with me, I could feel her hands heating up and I could feel the energy within the room and within my body changing.

Alchemy of loss into love and pain into hope.

I felt it. And feel it to this day.

When the session was done, she told me what visions she had.

She saw my dad.

And again: she did not know my story or my loss. She just described what she saw.

A man with a white tank top on dark hair and eyes standing with his hand on his chin and shaking his head softly saying “my baby, my princess.”

It cracked me open in all the ways.

Tears burst through my eyes.

No way… no way…

That's my daddy.

He's with me??

He's here??

She shared with me what it is to be human and how we are all souls.

She shared with me that we are all here to learn lessons and in our lessons there are intense moments of pain and it is up to us to create the delight.

She opened my heart up to the possibility that this is not the end,

This is just the beginning…

The spark that lit the way.

Reiki.

I shake my head in awe and smile as I write this because I will be the first to admit:

I have no idea what I am doing.

I am just following the light,

The gentle nudge and guidance within me,

And it was so new to me that 6-ish years ago,

And now it is such a staple,

A constant,

A way I care for myself,

A way I rejuvenate myself so i can move through this world and own my own life.

But it’s taken lots of patience and practice along the way.

I had to let go of the idea I knew how to heal.

I had to be open to the unfamiliar and trust what came as soon as I said:

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, LORD and I AM OPEN TO EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIGHT,

Please just be so gentle with me…

This spark could only be found by me.

I had to be consumed by the darkness of grief, of pain, of my own reality before I could witness the brilliance of one teeny-tiny little spark and one-teeny-tiny decision to heal, and to heal on my terms.

There's so much illusion out there.

The pressure to fit the norm.

To do as always has been done.

When my heart shattered and my soul wept I could no longer march to a beat that didn't resonate to the rhythm of my own heart. It was the discomfort and the edges that informed me I needed a new way out. And when I knew I needed it, it found me. Ambition free. It found me. And it has led me to this now.

I am sharing this with you tonight in hopes that you find your spark.

And that I always stay with mine.

I am sharing this with you because in my story I have found glory,

And in my glory it has led me to you.

I hope I continue to stretch myself beyond the confines of what my mind thinks I know and push past the normalcy that just no longer serves. I hope I continue to open my heart to the dynamic flow that is my own path and life. And I hope to always be that spark to myself - as well as to you.

May we light it up - one brave spark and breath at a time.

So much light and so much love,

keri